And about today's show...

They get a lot of dollars. Haha.

Since when do the wowowee girls make jokes?

Today - guess! Incoming grade 3. Looks like it won't be much different than yesterday's show.

And not only is she singing a salbakuta song, she's singing the wrong lyrics. (rapping, pala :D)
Baka may madiscover?

This one thinks greeting long-distance has a cost.

Wait - I don't get it. This kid is named Russel (did I read that right?) but the kid is a girl. ???

Anyway.

Willie: Sa Meteor Garden, ano ang pangalan ng bidang babae?
Contestant: Dao Ming Su. (he didn't let papi finish the question.)

Willie: Sa habulan, ano ang kailangan mong gawin para hindi ka maabutan ng taya?
Contestant 1: Langit.
Contestant 2: Pumunta sa langit.

At first, I thought it was a no-show.

Tomorrow, incoming grade 4. Bring your report card so we know that you're not stupid. ;)

HOW THE HELL CAN YOU PASS REFLECTIONS AND CAN YOU FEEL THE LOVE TONIGHT?

Gusto nya ng TB. Good luck to you - you'll need it. No, seriously folks, she wants a TV. And that's right; you want a CD player. Not an mp3.

Artista: Isa siya sa Charlie's Angels; siya yung singkit na itim ang buhok.
Contestant: Shan Cai.

The magic TB is sorta broken, you know?

Willie: Hello joseph, what country are you from?
Joseph: I don't wanna play.

Her sister comes in, and they become a tag team. And the kolokoys lose.

See you all tomorrow ;)

sorry we've been out so long

Sorry for the gap between material. We have lives too, you know, and yesterday was a no-show. Good afternoon to you all. ;)

The wowowee bitches have more wholesome clothing now. Ang ingay nga nila. Nooo!

Papi is good-hearted. Andami nyang dollars ah. Waw! (I noticed he hasn't been giving out vegetables and/or fruits lately.)

Today, gay stand-up comedians. Looks like a no-show.

Willie: Ilan ang zero sa 700,000?
Contestant 1: Six.

Willie: Ano ang araw sa pagitan ng Friday at Wednesday?
Contestant 1: Tuesday!!!

(Hey! That one gay guy is named Hans!)

What is it with the old ladies? Their faces are so expressionless! Is this for real or is that just a gimmick? Well, this guy gets to joke around when he plays Taps with his mouth - in front of the expressionless ladies.

Toni: Kung ang star ay bituin, ano naman ang star apple?
Contestant 1: Atis!
Contestant 2: Guava.

My theory has held somewhat true. Good day!

Stranger than your sympathy

15 days until the day.

Anyway, it's joke time! Unfortunately vicky was too lazy to update in the kapamilya side yesterday, so sorry for the lack. :P (Naku! Kapatid nga kita! Anong nangyari sayo?! :-o)

Basti and Aljomar. Where's Nash? May lagnat raw. Long is making a guest appearance.

Today, hardworking nanays. Will my theory¹ hold true?

This one nanay has it bad. The work was hard, she went home w/o any money, and when she gets home, her husband is cheating on her.

Willie: Ilang meters ang 3 km?
Contestant: Three meters.

Willie: Writer, director, o actress, ano si JK Rowling?
Contestant 1: Direktor.
Contestant 2: Actor.

Willie: Kantahin mo nga.
Contestant: When you're happy, stamp your feet!
Willie: Hindi, when you're happy and you know it.
Contestant: When you're happy and you know it stamp your feet, when you're happy and you know it stamp your feet, when you're happy and you know it and you're happy and you know it, when you're happy and you know it, stamp your feet.

Willie: Uy, sa Milan! May TFC tayo dyan. Marunong ka bang mag-Milan?

*rolls eyes*

Tomorrow, Rockers are playing! If you think you're square enough, go join!

Willie: Ilan ang letter 'R' sa salitang Colonel?
Contestant 1: Isa.
Contestant 2: One.

15 days.

¹ - My theory is that the higher your class of life, the higher your intelligence. Thus, lesser mistakes.

everyone, take your sit

I've always wondered why the wowowee bitches' voices sound like fingernails scraping on a blackboard. Is it them? I don't know.

Oh, the agony which is Joke Time! Spare us!

Uy, mga musishen. As I said before, celebrities are smart. Mukhang wala tayong mapagtatawanan, mga kaibigan.

My friends, it looks like we're going to have a no-show.

Willie: Kaninong hit ang 'Cry' at 'Only Hope'?
Bendetha (Salbakuta): Ricky Martin.

Close to a no-show, anyway.

Laki ng hatak ni Willie ngayun ah.

Lots of dollars to give out. The balikbayans are feeling pretty generous today.

Ang dami leche. Bigyan mo naman kami dito, papi, o! We run the archive blog! Give us some cash!

And because papi is feeling generous, he's giving out a lot, even to the lamest jokes. Pang-matrikula daw. Sabagay.

Uy! WRR DJs. Lol. And dubbers. Amazing how they don't look like the persons whose lines they dub :P Being "celebrities", will they be any smarter? Find out!

Goes to show that Willie doesn't watch the kapamilya's own shows.

"Ang aso ay si Doggie, ang pusa ay si Pussy" [sic]

Willie: Ang primary color ay red, blue, and ____?
Contestant 1: Green!

I succumbed to that one because I'm an avid Photoshopper.

Willie: Kung ang plural ng fox ay foxes, ano ang plural ng ox?
Contestant 1: Oxes! Ay... oxen!

Nood tayo ng Bikini Open. Just kidding. :P

Kola Kolokoy, aka the last stupid question. Ever.

Willie: What is 20% of 100?
Contestant 1: 25%.
Contestant 2: 80%.

That's all for today. It proves that higher-class people are actually smarter than the masses! I didn't want to believe it at first, but this just proves it.

Nandoon si Father eh.

Naka-one week na pala tayo, sis. :P

Oo nga naman. Mas marunong pa ang bata. Lalaki at babae lang ginawa ng Diyos. WALANG BADING. Aljomar needs to work on his charisma.

Uy. P200 for pamasahe. That's not very ordinary, isn't it? Meanwhile, a lucky lola gets $20. Ah, I want another set of $100 from my tita. :P

O, eto na. Mga istantmen en istantwimen.

Willie: Kung ang concert queen ay si Pops, sino naman ang Comedy concert queen?
Contestant 1: Wowowee!
Contestant 2: Dolphy.

Willie: Spell 'correct'.
Contestant: C-o-double r-"eh"-c-t.

Willie: Sa tagalog, ang sad ay malungkot. Ano naman ang 'Happy Birthday'?
Contestant 1: Kapanganakan.
Contestant 2: Maligayang Bati sa Iyong Kaarawan (although I don't know why Willie rejected this answer).

Willie: Ilan ang vowel o patinig sa salitang "four"?
Contestant 1: Three.
Contestant 2: Five.

Willie: Sa math, 8 / 2 - 2?
Contestant 1: Four.

Is it just me or is there a hidden meaning when Willie says, "Yan. Pila kayo. Babae sa babae, para maganda."

Willie: Kung ang chicken ay manok, ano ang chicken pox?
Contestant 1: Pakpak - hindi, tigyawat...

Tomorrow, celebrity lookalikes (siyempre, yung kapamilya lang :P). I'm guessing that a majority of overconfident people will audition for this. I mean, it's easy to claim that you "look like papa Piolo" - especially when you're vain.

Good day to you! :P

Slaam dunk da funk

Much to my sister's chagrin, there isn't any worthy material inGame KNB today. :P

Holy smokes, Me-Ann looks like our german FL teacher.

There are more kids! Will we see the next Aljomar! Find out tomorrow on Wowowee!

Willie: Ilan ang kamay ng kaliwete?
Contestant 1: Lima.
Contestant 2: Apat.

Willie: Ano ang first name Presidente ng Pilipinas?
Contestant 1: *speechless*
Contestant 2: Dr. Jose Rizal.

Willie: Ano kadalasan ang kulay ng gown ng bride?
Contestant 1: *speechless*
Contestant 2: Green.

Willie: Anong apelyido ng komedyanteng Vhong [navarro]?
Contestant 1: *speechless*
Contestant 2: Pamela One.
Willie: Yun yung kanta nya, di bale, pareho kayong out.

Tomorrow, middle-aged housewives are going to play for the garrrand prize!!! Hopefully, they're not of the desperate kind. Eww.

I hate those dancing bitches. Heaven knows they're leading damned lifes behind those thick makeups, skimpy clothes, and cleavage. Hmm, their hips must hurt right now.

Anyway, what poor kid doesn't know the title of Christmas songs? I mean, he missed the most obvious - "We Wish You A Merry Christmas". And Willie is too lenient. Well, I guess they're just kids after all.

Kola Kolokoyz:

Willie: Kung ang apple ay mansanas, ano ang pineapple sa tagalog?
Contestant 1: Mansanas.
Contestant 2: Juice.

That's all for today, thank you for reading us, and tune in tomorrow, for the housewives! :P

itsh tarsday.

Panalo raw sa ratings. Against da kalaban.

Willie's going on with his [heartfelt] tirade about how we are making their ratings. Well, he has reason to - da kalaban's a tough contender, aren't they? Anyway, there're more TFC people watching. They'll be in San Francisco on June 19.

There goes the tried-and-true effort jokes - we've said them before. If you don't know what I'm talking about, sample:

Ano ang effort?

Ano?

Ang effort ay ang linalanding-an ng efflane.

Eh?

Cripes, that smartass kid from yesterday's show is now a kapamilya! Much like the mystery of seeing Manny Pacquiao also a kapamilya. Kung dating angas, ngayon inaangasan na :P

Boycott's the theme. Lamer jokes. Lamer kids. Aljomar's siblings have al-name-mar as their names. Talk about innovative.

And now, for the much-awaited segment that we're covering for laughs, Willie of Fortune! *cue cheers*

Willie: Sa Spanish, ang one ay uno, ang two ay dos, ang four ay ___?
Contestant 1: Apat.

Willie: Ikaw, ano trabaho mo?
Contestant: Sibil ingener. (civil engineer)

Willie: Ang manicure ay sa kamay, ang pedicure ay sa paa, saan naman ang foot spa?
Sibil ingener: Sa kuko.

This one woman sort of reminds me of Ms. Ayen. Moving on.

Willie: Sa math, dalawa hatiin mo sa dalawa? (Two divided by two)
Contestant 1 & 2: Zero.

You might not get this next question, because it's really something to test your IQ. (sorta.)

Willie: Sa isang taon, ilan lahat ang months na may 28 days?
Contestant 1 & 2: Isa.

Willie: Sino ang nakilala bilang si Mr. Palengke?
Contestant 1: Kiko Pangilinan.
Contestant 2: *speechless*

And there are more dancing bitches. You'd think they were hired sluts to showcase the prizes. Err.. moving on.

Having trouble with the Magic TV =))

And probably the last bit of questions ever to be asked on today's show - Kola Kolokoy. Here's hoping to a funny answer.

Willie: Saang bansa matatagpuan ang Narita?
Contestant: USA.

Thassit for today, tune in tomorrow for street vendors! :P

It's wednesday :P

There are more dollars to give away, but thankfully willie decided to be shrewd today. :P (Hey that rhymes)

Cripes, the grade 1 kids are here!

Too many kids fell in line to join, Willie says :P Okay it's both that there are no funny parts yet and the kids are answering correctly (drat). Harder questions naman po.

There're actually more tearjerkers. [Hey! I cried kaya! -vicky]

Willie: Ilan ang Powerpuff Girls?
Contestant 1: Six.
Contestant 2: Five.

TIP: Don't confuse them with the Power Rangers.

A lot of them are sucking up to Willie.

Willie: Anong hayop si Barney?
Contestant 1: Paki-ulit nga po kuya.
Willie: Sige uulitin ko yung tanong ha. Anong hayop si Barney?
Contestant 1: Di ko alam.

I love you, you love me...

Willie: Sa english alphabet, ano ang susunod sa letter D?
Contestant 1: F!

=))

And Simon Cowell would comment very badly on this kid's rendition of "Wag na Wag". [Actually, it's May Gusto Ka Bang Sabihin. -vicky]

Willie: Pag pinagsama-sama mo si Garfield, Scooby Doo, at Snoopy, ilan ang mga aso?
Contestant 1: Tatlo.
Contestant 2: Apat.

To be honest I was also actually fooled by this one 'cause I sort of forgot that Garfield was a cat. :P

This one kid is pretty morose, but sort of looks like Miqui.

Willie: Marunong ka bang sumayaw? Kumanta? Tumula? Ano alam mo?
Kid: *shakes head*
Willie: Ah, wala ka palang alam.
*everyone laughs*

Which eventually turns into an argument between that kid and another kid. [Btw, the angas kid that reminds me of Tolits from Tide got into Going Bulilit! Haha! I really really thought that he was gonna get discovered. -vicky]

Willie: Ilan ang sides ng triangle?
Contestant 1: Isa.

Btw this is the same kid as above. Apparently he has a small attention span. Seriously.

Willie: Tuwing linggo, saan tayo pumupunta para magsimba at magpray?
Contestant 1: Kay Jesus.

Still the same kid.

Willie: Sa nursery rhyme na 'Mary had a little lamb', anong hayop ang alaga ni Mary?
Contestant 1: *speechless*
Contestant 2: Aso.

Mary had a little dog?

Tomorrow, girls with guy's jobs. :P

That's it for the funnies of today. Tune in tomorrow :P

Wowowee, May 3

The Going Bulilit kids are making an [annoying] appearance on "Joke Time" as of now. There's a close-up of Mahal (or is it Mura? damn I don't really care.) Topic: Aswang.

Wailing voices when Charlene (yung bata.) is singing To Love You More. At least there's a better voice in that other girl whose name escapes me.

Everyone's loathed part - the part where the audience gets to make their jokes.

Masakit 'to:
Audience Member - Ano ang ginagawa ng bakla pag nagagalit?
Willie - Ano?
AM - Ashuswang!

And another happened to resent the labanos she was given. :P Gusto nila ng pamasahe eh. Please stop the lame jokes!

Eto, sis, mga bakla. *scowl* I guess it's time. One team is named the Amazing Gays and the other is Working Bading(s). Bakit di kasali yung princi- este, never mind.

Here's the fun part(s)! The Willie of Fortune :P

Bakla: Ako'y isang teacher po.
Willie: Ano tawag sa 'yo ng mga bata? Ma'am? Madam?
Bakla: Sir po.

Comments: He's a good bartender.

Willie: Ano trabaho mo, Arnel?
Bakla: Ako'y isang construction workeir.

Comments: This is the first time I've seen a gay construction worker. You would've thought they hated manual work.

Willie takes time to thank the viewers (aka us) for giving them high ratings during their first season. Didn't MTB have the same fate?

Anyway, there are still smart answers - nothing yet to laugh at.

Until now.

Willie: Kaano-ano mo ang tatay ng kapatid mong bunso?
Contestant 1: Pinsan.
Contestant 2: Pinsan.

DAH! I mean. Given na.

Willie: Ang kurtina ay curtain. Ang porselana ay porcelain. Ang sirena ay ____?
Contestant 1: Sirena.
Contestant 2: Ambulansya.

I still don't know what's going on :P

Willie: Ang powerpuff girls ay sina Bubbles, Blossom at ____?
Contestant: Dipsy?

Wrong show! =))

Tomorrow, incoming Grade 1 public school students.

It's still the parts where you won't get to laugh a lot. So hold on.

The gay Jollibee guy wants an MP3! Cripes, they still want an MP3! Go download Limewire or something for all I care. Marami silang MP3.

Uy. Kola Kolokoy. Apparently none of the answers were dumb.

That's it for today - it seems that when you have gays on the show, there are less chances of hearing those funny and stupid answers. The Grade 1 kids should - tune in tomorrow.

[when I reread this post it became apparent to me that I sound like vicky here. - pepseeh]

Hi!

Hi, this is Noontime Boredom, an online archive of whatever stupid answers we will hear from the noontime ABS-CBN show Wowowee. Time has proven that every episode of the show will contain these dumb answers which, most of the time, are veeery far from the real answer.

Enjoy!